A Letter to my Fellow Women – Have you Had your Adjustment (II)?Sue Afutu
I am writing this letter to you because I walk the same path that you do.
As they say, marriage is the only institution where you are awarded a certificate before the exam. Some of you reading this letter, have already received this certificate and are in various stages of answering the examination questions. Thankfully, the marriage exam is an open book exam, you are even allowed to leave the examination hall and go and speak with your lecturer (marriage counsellor) for a refresher if you need one. Some of you, may also be waiting excitedly to receive your certificate on your wedding day or on the day you celebrate your marriage. Here is one refresher point for all of us.
Sshhh, it’s the “S” word …
A husband and a wife are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21). Men are asked to love their wives while women are asked to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5: 21 – 33).
God requires that as Christian wives, we submit to our husbands (Ephesians 5:21 -24). Some cultures ordinarily require women to submit to their husbands. However modernisation has created tensions in this area. Today, many of us, support our homes economically and some of us even earn more than our husbands do. God says wives must submit to their husbands as onto the Lord. This means she must submit to her husband because ultimately she is submitting to God.
Submission is not always easy. This is why we have to be careful when getting married, that we are settling down with the right person (this topic is the subject of another letter my dear). But after the decision has been made, we need to ask God for His grace and rely on His grace to succeed in our marriages.
If your marriage is abusive, you may well need a period of separation from your husband while you pray that things get better.
Further down in Ephesians 5:33, the Bible does not use the word ‘submit’ but uses other words such as ‘respect’, ‘proper respect’ or ‘reverence’ depending on the Bible translation you use. However, the same word ‘love’ is maintained in the concluding parts of Ephesians 5 in the final comments to men. This suggests to us women, that to submit to your husband involves respecting him or reverencing him.
So long for now, my dear. There still remains a few things to be said.