Gary Thomas in his book ‘Cherish’ speaks of how we can move our marriages to the next level by ‘cherishing’ our spouses.
According to him, the phrase,’familiarity breeds contempt’ should scare everyone because there’s no relationship that gets more familiar than marriage. We can however counter this by choosing to cherish our spouses.
He took a decision to cherish his wife by doing some practical things.
1. Showcasing her to others. Talking about her good sides to others.
2. Getting a journal and writing in it daily one thing she had done which he liked and then presenting the journal to her as a gift on Christmas day. After half way through the year, you realize how much it changes your own attitude towards her. Here you are showcasing her to yourself.
The whole idea of showcasing your wife to yourself can be found in Ephesians 5: 26 – 27.
” that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish”.
The verse above tells us that husbands have a role to play in making -up their wives. Are you unhappy about your wife’s level of education or literacy? What step have you taken or what sacrifice have you made to enable her upgrade herself in this area of her life? Are you uncomfortable with your wife’s physical appearance? Do you think she needs to lose a bit of weight etc.? Do you find your wife’s choice of clothes awkward or unappealing? How about taking her to the shopping mall and assisting her as she buys some new clothes for herself. Remember, you are going to be the primary beneficiary of all of this. As she upgrades herself, the level of her confidence would also go up and this would have a ripple effect in all that she does.
Wives also should cherish their husbands as the traditional marriage vows goes. This leaves no room for gossiping about your husband or maligning him publicly. When we fix our eyes, minds and hearts on the positive traits of our husbands, our general perception of them is greatly enhanced. It also helps to journal daily what you like about your husband.
As long as you determine to be in marriage for the long haul, no step is too small or too cumbersome. Enjoy the journey.