Learning to Love III

Learning to Love III

An Interview with Mrs. Margaret Sackey –a marriage counsellor (continued from last week)

Her take on love in marriages?

 In the first few years of marriage, especially for those who marry in their twenties and thirties, the focus is on physical intimacy, attraction etc. However as you grow older, the focus shifts from just the two of you and satisfying your needs to meeting the needs of children and that of extended family members. As a couple, as the years wear on, your energy levels also decrease. As such with the years, love in marriage shifts from mere physical love to commitment.

She however added that a wife’s interest in sex may decrease while that of her husband may take a longer time to diminish.  When that happens the couple must dialogue and decide on what is workable.

How do temperaments affect our marriages?

Temperaments are like spectacles, we see life through them. Cholerics and sanguines are extroverts while melancholics and phlegmatics are introverts. The sanguine yearns for attention, affection, acceptance and approval. The choleric wants to be acknowledged, wants to lead and wants to be respected. The melancholic yearns for sensitivity, silence and space. The phlegmatic desires quiet and peace, tolerance, self-worth and respect.

On dealing with a man’s ego

She advises wives to try not to enter into arguments with their husbands. When your husband is acting difficult because of his ego, pray to God about the situation and hand him over to God. Also ask God how you are contributing to the problem. Women must be submissive towards their husbands. If you try to control him etc. he would become defensive. Arguing with your husband feeds his ego and brings out the worse in him. Poker evil with good.

On dealing with a man who feels like a failure …

When your husband feels like he has failed, encourage him and pray with him. She reiterates the words of Stormie Omartian that as Christians, our self-worth comes from our relationship with God. Greatness is obeying God and letting him live His greatness through us. 

Today, Meg’s children are adults. They are successful in their careers and they have homes of their own. She’s grateful to God that He gave her the grace to weather the stormy period of her marriage.

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Comments (14)

  • Cecilia Ayileoh Reply

    I pray for a Godly and a fruitful marriage. Thank you for inspiring us. God bless you

    September 26, 2020 at 7:43 am
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      Sue Afutu Reply

      Amen, God would give you the desires of your heart as long as you follow His leading.

      September 26, 2020 at 11:57 am
      • Michael Voice Seshie Reply

        Thank you for the topic about marriage you began to treat for some few days now. This is a topic about the whole of our life’s.Really as you become older ,the level of sex decreases and the energy level as well . Because the focus now is about the children. It is not an easy journey but as God is concerned , his power for understanding of love, Mercy and grace will be in control till we achieve the aim. God bless you. May he give you more power for the word. It is not easy to bring out these revelations. But I rebuke any hand of evil against you for uncovering these hidden things in our life to subdue in Jesus name.May he grant you more power. Bless you with wisdom.

        September 27, 2020 at 6:31 am
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          Sue Afutu Reply

          Amen and thanks Michael

          September 29, 2020 at 2:05 pm
    • Mirabel Reply

      Great nuggets of wisdom. God help us all. Thanks for sharing sis.

      September 26, 2020 at 12:42 pm
  • Baffour Boakye Reply

    Very inspiring. Keep it up

    September 26, 2020 at 10:33 am
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      Sue Afutu Reply

      Thanks BB

      September 26, 2020 at 11:56 am
  • Christian Anim Reply

    The more I read inspirations about marriage, the more heavy I see the responsibilities in marriage.
    It is gladdening coming into contact with transformational messages that without them, marriage life will be a guess work or trial and error.
    Thanks be to God for keeping the elderly alive, showing us the way.

    God bless you.

    September 26, 2020 at 10:36 am
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      Sue Afutu Reply

      God bless you too Christian

      September 26, 2020 at 11:56 am
      • Maa U Reply

        God bless you

        September 28, 2020 at 12:27 pm
  • Sheila Reply

    God richly bless you Sue….We pray for grace

    September 27, 2020 at 11:13 pm
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      Sue Afutu Reply

      God bless you too Sheila. Yes we pray for grace.

      September 29, 2020 at 2:03 pm
  • Duke-Russell Reply

    Timely message

    September 28, 2020 at 5:23 pm
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      Sue Afutu Reply

      Thanks Duke

      September 29, 2020 at 2:05 pm

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